Susan Bailey Law

Yesterday I made a sad trip to Charlotte’s Presbyterian Hospital. As I pulled into the parking garage I could feel the weight in my heart growing. Walking down the hallway to the hospice unit, I prayed that God would help to keep my emotions in check and that He would give me the words to share. I was getting ready to say goodbye to one of the sweetest souls I have ever known. Susan Bailey Law was in my youth group at First Baptist in Charlotte. Mary and I loved her and her family. Her parents, Martha and Bill worked in the youth ministry; her brother Brian is one of the smartest guys I have every known; and her sister Dana always made us laugh. Susan was one of those special individuals whom everyone easily loved. She was one of a kind. Susan and her husband Jerel served the Lord together. For the past several years they have served as church planters north of Charlotte. God blessed them with three wonderful children.

I had the honor of praying for Susan and with the family yesterday afternoon. This morning at 5:30, Susan looked directly into the eyes of her Lord and Savior. I envy her.

But what about Jerel who has lost his best friend? What about the three children who will face life without their mother? What about Martha and Bill who will now bury a second child. Their first born died when he was just a year old. What about Brian and Dana? What about a church family who is grieving? What about a host of friends – all of whom were praying for a healing? Holding on to your faith when God does not make sense is a challenge. The death of such a young wife with three young children in such a loving marriage is one of the greatest challenges a husband could ever face. The death of a child is one of the greatest if not the greatest challenge a parent could ever face. The death of one with so much life ahead, is like putting the period in the middle of a sentence, it does not make any sense. It does not belong.

When I conducted the funeral service for my wife’s grandmother, she was 101 years old. We celebrated her life. Her death was a natural next step as she moved into God’s heaven. It made sense.

Through 35 years of ministry, I have walked with many people through experiences and sorrows that were not easily understood. Examples of inexplicable sorrows and difficulties could fill the shelves of the world’s largest library. Almost every person could contribute illustrations of his or her own. In a world were innocent people suffer, we are challenged in our faith.

I have watched individuals deal with cancer, kidney failure, heart disease, cerebral palsy, down’s syndrome, divorce, rape, loneliness, rejection, depression, failure, death, these and thousands of other sources of human suffering produce inevitable questions of the soul. “Why would God permit this to happen?” “If God is so loving, why did He not stop this?” It has been my observation that the Lord does not typically rush in to explain everything to us.

The Lord says in Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

The simple truth is we lack the capacity to grasp God’s infinite mind or the way He intervenes in our lives. It is okay to say, “I don’t know or I don’t understand… this makes no sense.” But we can also say, “I am willing to trust God in spite of my lack of knowledge and understanding. In spite of my pain, I am willing to trust God.”

In spite of the pain, we can celebrate Susan’s life… celebrate a life that was fully lived.

We read in Romans 11:33–36, “Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! For who can know the LORD’s thoughts? Who knows enough to give him advice? And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.”

We see in the Bible that there are times when God brought healing, such as the blind man, the cripple, the lepers; He even raised Lazarus from the dead. We also read in scripture when he does not heal, or rather heals in a different way, such as Paul’s thorn in the flesh. God saved Daniel from the lion’s den, but did not save Paul from the executioner’s ax. God saved Noah and his family from the flood, but did not save Steven from the stones of his enemy’s. God saved David from King Saul’s attempts to kill David, but did not heal David’s new born son.

We read in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” The truth of this passage is that we will not have the total picture until we meet God in his kingdom. We must learn to accept partial understanding now, knowing we will have full understanding in his kingdom. I have always thought that my first word in heaven would probably something like, “Oh.”

So, let us then focus on what we do know and what we can understand. The Bible tells us that each person has an appointed time… to be born, to die.

Psalm 139:16 says, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

Not many people know their time, but Susan did. She fought hard, prayed long and increased her faith. She was prepared for God to answer her prayer in a different way. There were many promises in scripture for her to hold to…

Romans 8:38–39, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

God used Susan among her friends and family. She showed us how to live while facing death. Did she want to live? Absolutely. Did she want to leave her husband and three precious children? No way. Was she ready to face death? Without a doubt!

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” We are not prohibited from trying to understand. We are specifically told not to lean on our ability to make the pieces fit. “Leaning” refers to the panicky demand for answers, throwing faith to the wind if a satisfactory response cannot be produced. It is pressing God to explain himself or else. That is when everything starts to unravel.

I cannot explain why such a deplorable disease such as cancer even exists. I do not have tidy answers that will satisfy. I have no airtight explanations. I reject simplistic theology that suggest, “God must have needed Susan in heaven.” Nonsense! A loving Father does not tear the heart out of a loving husband for selfish purposes. God does not remove a loving mother from her three children because he needs her in heaven. We must acknowledge that we have been given too few facts to explain all the heartache in this imperfect, fallen world. The understanding will have to await the coming of the sovereign Lord who promises to set straight all accounts and end all injustice.

Jesus said, in John 10:10, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

Satan hates us because we are the crowning achievement of God’s creation. Satan hates anything God loves. He is out to destroy us. He hates marriages, because God invented them. He hates families because they are God’s design. But Jesus’ purpose is to give us a full and abundant life. He is not talking about material possession. He is talking about purpose and meaning… a reason to get out of bed in the morning… a reason to live this one life we have to the fullest.

God desires a personal relationship with you. You can have that full and meaningful life through Jesus Christ and only through Jesus Christ. If Susan could speak to us, she would tell us, “It is all true… everything the Bible says about God, Jesus, heaven… it is all true.”

“If anyone calls on the name of the Lord and believes that he was raised from the dead they shall be saved.” Christ’s resurrection is what sealed the deal for me. Just last year I was standing in the Garden Tomb area in Jerusalem… where Jesus was buried. I looked inside the tomb… it was still empty.

God’s proclamation is true; God’s presence is real; God’s purpose is pure. You can live your life to survive. You can live your life for success. Or you can choose to live your life at the highest level - significance. Susan chose to be significant.

To those of us left behind, God can mend our broken hearts… but we have to give him all the pieces.

The dreaded “C” word…

Last Friday, Mary and I were enjoying a rare day of golf – just the two of us. It was great. Afterwards, we stopped at the Waffle House across the interstate from the Mid Carolina Golf Club. The only time I go there is when I have a deep need for a Texas Cheese-Steak Sandwich (no onions). It’s the only thing I order when I go. The only reason Mary goes is to watch me eat a Texas Cheese-Steak Sandwich. Half-way through my sandwich I got the phone call I had been waiting for. My physician had called the evening before, but we were out. It didn’t take long to put two and two together from his voice mail. He called, not his assistant. He didn’t leave a result, but said we needed to talk on Friday… I knew it meant that I was not going to get the news I was hoping for.

Two weeks prior to all of this I had my annual physical. EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE AN ANNUAL PHYSICAL!!! I was thrilled with my physical. My blood pressure was 100 over 66; I had lost 25 pounds; my blood work came back great with one exception. My PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) was slightly elevated. My family physician wanted me to see an urologist as a precaution. He said the elevation was minor and was probably nothing more than an infection. Within a few days I was seeing the urologist. That led to another exam. My urologist said there was enough evidence to warrant a biopsy on my prostate. It still might be an infection, but he wanted to make sure.

I am not one to sit around and wait, so we scheduled the biopsy as soon as possible. It was last Monday. Twelve samples were taken from my prostate. By the way – I can now sing soprano with the best of them! Barry and I are planning a duet.

Now back to the phone call on Friday. The best result would have been that it was nothing more than an infection. If that had been the case, there would have been a simple message from my physician’s nurse – “Great news, it’s an infection. A prescription has been called in for you.” Instead it was “give me a call first thing on Friday.”

So Mary and I knew immediately what the results were… cancer. Now it was only a matter of how much, how bad, how contained.

The urologist confirmed our suspicion. The good news is we have caught it early. On Tuesday, I will have my follow up with my urologist. He will explain all the details of the biopsy report and the treatment options.

I have kept this process very private. Mary and our children knew. No one else in my family has known until last night. I did keep Ronald Flynn in the loop because of his role at Gateway.

I have just shared everything with the staff and now I am sharing this with my favorite people in the world – you! We are family. I love the Gateway family and appreciate your support and love. You have stood by me in the good times and in the difficult times. You have stood by me when I have been right and when I have been wrong. You have stayed the course with me as we seek to reach our community for Christ. You have been faithful to pray for me and encourage me.

In the scheme of things in the cancer world, this is not a big thing. I have walked with people through very serious cancer – multiple myeloma; colon; bone, kidney, liver, and on and on. I have watched close friends face death with courage, dignity and faith. What I am dealing with is a minor cancer.

Let me make some things very clear – my urologist said that the cancer has been discovered VERY early, is VERY treatable and is NOT life-threatening. My heart goes out to those who have been told just the opposite – “we did not catch it in time; it is advanced; it’s a death sentence.”

Let me share a few thoughts:

• In the scheme of life, this is just a bump in the road… a very small bump!
• I’m fine with you sharing this with others… especially people of faith that will pray.
• I do not want to hear about some doctor in Mexico that I should go see.
• Do not email me something you found on the Internet. I appreciate the thought, but I have intentionally avoided the Internet.
• I’m fine with discussing it with you, but I would rather talk more about winning people to Jesus.
• I will keep you informed as anything significant occurs.
• I will continue my role as Senior Pastor. If anything occurs that requires my absence, you will be informed.
• I’m praying that God will make me a better pastor through this.
• I pray that I will be able to minister to those who deal with cancer at a different level.

Mary and I are completely trusting Jesus. We are fine emotionally. God can do what ever He desires with me. I gave Him the deed to my life when I was a teenager. I belong to Him so it is His business. We want God to be glorified with every aspect of our lives.

Here are some verses that have taken on new meaning to me:

Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good. (1 Peter 4:19)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him. (Job 13:15)

Buying a Car

I hate buying a car. So much time and effort is required. It’s never easy… at least not for me. I tend to over analyze. That is why when I buy a car, I drive it until it dies! I loved my 2003 Ford Explorer. It had over 135,000 miles. My mechanic said it should last for another 100,000. Now that gets me excited.

Last September 22nd, I was driving in North Carolina. I remember thanking God for my car and even said, “I wonder how long it will last?” As most of you know, I got the answer that same day. It would last for about 6 more hours when it met its demise in an accident.

So began the new process of finding a car. I decided I wanted another Explorer. I found one from an individual in Charlotte. Sounded like a great deal. I emailed him and he responded, “I just sold it, but I’ve got another coming this week.” I made arrangements to drive it. It was a 2007 with 39,000 miles and priced under the blue-book value. Sold!

I made arrangements to transfer the car. The seller would drive it to Columbia and meet me at the bank. Then I would drive him to the airport to rent a car for his return home. I offered to drive him back to Charlotte, but it was his choice to rent.

As we were driving to the airport, I turned on the radio. It was tuned to WMHK, our local Christian radio station at CIU. I asked, “You were listening to this station?” He said yes. “I listen to their sister station in Charlotte, WRCM, so I tuned to WMHK when I got closer to Columbia. They helped to save my life.” “Wow, can you tell me about it?” I asked.

Then he began to share his story. He told me that on 9/11, both his brother and brother-in-law were working in the World Trade Center in NYC. Neither survived the attack. I was very quiet for a moment. Finally I asked, “Did anyone get to talk to them?” “Yes,” he said. “They both talked to their wives. They were on floors above the impact of the airplane and they already knew that they would not survive. Between the two of them, they had 7 children.”

My head was spinning. Finally I said “I can not imagine your pain or the pain of your family.”

He went on to share how God spoke to him and brought him to Christ. WRCM ministered to him during that time and continues to do so today.

You never know the pain someone is living with. But I do know that the power of our Lord Jesus Christ can overcome any pain, any experience, and any tragedy in your life.

This experience gave me a deeper appreciation for the words of Jesus: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

A Labor Day That Lived Up To Its Name

So I think my wife deceived me. She convinced me that Labor Day was actually a day set aside to have a contest to see how much work you can get done in a 12 hour period. AND I FELL FOR IT! For some reason I could not sleep Sunday night. Great day at church; wonderful worship; loved preaching Galatians 5; had lunch with great friends… but for some reason I just could not go to sleep. Maybe it was the thought of 83 year old Jerry Lewis staying up all night for his kid’s telethon. (I use to watch it every year.) Imagine… he has collected over $1.5 billion dollars since he began the telethon.

Anyway, after not sleeping most of the night, we were in the yard by 9:00 on Monday morning and we finished at 9:00 that night. We cleared the area between the road and back yard; measured for the line of the fence along the back; cut down trees; pulled down thorny vines from other trees; dug holes; placed timber for the fence; moved concrete bags that had harden from our lovely humidity; busted up the hard concrete with a mallet to make it usable; set the post; somewhere in all that we split a subway sandwich; Mary went to rehearsal at the church; then we closed off the day by moving 2 large pallets of 8 foot 2 X 4’s from the garage to the back yard. If there was a contest – then we won… and I want my prize!

One bright moment… we had two baby squirrels playing on our back deck. They were not afraid and came right to me… and no we are not making them pets.

During the day, God reminded of some truths in his word.

First were the thorny vines. They covered the trees along the road in our back yard. When you first see a vine growing, it is a small vine just a few inches long with a few leaves; not much to it and certainly nothing to take serious. But left unchecked it will quickly make its way up the tallest tree… and it will invite all of its siblings and cousins to climb along. It was not easy removing those things. My legs and arms look like I got into a fight with Edward Scissorhands. I did get some cool cuts on my legs. One looks like the mark of Zorro. Then there is the triangle and an upside down 7. (I know I’ve got a weird sense of humor.)

Sin is like that. It may start out harmless and small, but it will soon overwhelm your life. It will affect everything. Once it has weaved itself into your thoughts and your behavior – it affects those around you. It’s not easily removed and sometimes takes the help of others… maybe you have the scars that prove this to be true.

The other truth was revealed through a couple of baby squirrels. As I was going to get a drink, this very small squirrel was looking for something to drink on our porch. As I approached, he wasn’t nervous, nor did it run off. In fact, it crawled right towards me. I got a saucer of water and he got his fill. Soon his sibling showed up. Then I remembered… last Thursday, we found a dead squirrel at the bottom of the tree the babies were in. So they are probably orphaned. God reminded me that if He is aware of even the smallest of his creatures, certainly he is aware of my needs.

(Jesus) What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. Matt. 10:29

(God) I know every bird on the mountains, and all the animals of the field are mine. Psalm 50:11

Soaring with the Eagles

I flew my first glider when I was 16 years old. I will never forget the drive to Chester, SC to a glider school located at the airport. It was amazing. After an orientation by the instructor and the pre-flight check of the glider, I crawled into the front seat – the instructor into the back. A tow-line that looked like a ski rope was attached to the tail of the tow-plane was also attached to the nose of the glider. After getting the slack out of the tow-line and checking my controls, I gave a signal to the line-boy who held my wings level. He signaled the pilot of the tow-plane. He began his take-off run. After about 20 yards, the line-boy was able to let go of the wing since the glider had enough lift under the wings to stay level.

Within just a few moments, I was 10 feet off the ground. WOW!!! It was thrilling. I had just gotten my driver’s license and now I’m flying a glider. The instructor taught me how to stay within the “box” behind the tow-plane. After a series of turns, we made our way to 3,500 feet. Then it happened. I pulled the big red knob in the center of my instrument console. The rope disconnected from the glider; the tow plane dove down to the left and I took a steep turn to the right. After having my flight determined by the tow-plane, I was now free to fly as I desired. It was freeing, exhilarating, and very quiet. All I heard was the air rushing over my canopy and wings.

Because there is no engine in a glider, forces of nature have the primary affect on the flight. One force – gravity – pulls you back to earth. The glider began its decent. Within 20 minutes I would be back on the ground. However, I did have an alternative. I could find a thermal. A thermal is like a tall smoke stack of warm air that is rising from the ground. If you find one you can make tight turns within the column of warm air and the heat will cause the glider to rise. When you gain the altitude you desire, you simply fly out of the thermal. If you can continue to find thermals, you could literally keep a glider in the air all day.

The thing about thermals is they can be very bumpy. That is one of the many clues that you have found one. You feel the disruption of air around the glider. But unless you are willing to go through the bumps, you will never get the altitude.

Another clue I look for is a hawk or an eagle. If I spot one in a tight circle, there is a chance he has found a thermal and is seeking to gain altitude. Once when the kids were very young, we were visiting Mary’s brother on Signal Mountain in Tennessee. As we stood at a cliff looking over the city of Chattanooga, I spotted an eagle about a hundred feet below us. He was circling. I told the kids “Watch this eagle. I bet he will circle; never flap his wings; and will soon be higher than we are.” Sure enough, just as if we had planned it, the eagle stayed in a tight circle and quickly rose to hundreds of feet above us – he didn’t flap his wings once! Then he tilted his wings, flew out of the thermal and headed off into another direction. Amazing.

My glider flying and that eagle reminded of this verse:
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)

We have reached our two year mark on our new campus. What I thought would be easy has been hard and what I thought would be hard has been easy. Go figure. We have seen many dear friends make their way to other fellowships. (I was told by countless pastors and consultants that this would happen.) I know many of you have been hurt as your friends have left. I have hurt. Even though I knew it was coming, it still hurt. I was their pastor and I loved them… I still do. Being a relational person made it sting even more.

However, I had to be obedient to the Lord. I answer to Him and Him alone. I have no doubts that we are heading in the right direction. Although I will confess that I have not executed everything correctly, I have no doubts of God’s vision for Gateway. He has planted us into a sea of people who do not know Him.

But when you go through some bumpy air while flying… you don’t ever get out of the plane! You keep flying and let the Lord give you the lift you need under your wings. When you are flying at 35,000 feet in an airliner and you run into some very bumpy air… you stay in your seat, tighten your seat belt and trust the pilot! Well, I have put my trust in the Lord.

In the last two years, over 200 people have joined our team. As you have, they have bought into the vision for this church. We have baptized ninety-five new believers. We have many more waiting for baptism. God is great!

I want to thank the Gateway family for believing in our Lord and the vision He has given Gateway. I want to thank the Gateway family for believing in me as your pastor and your leader. Your prayers, kind words, and notes of encouragement bless me more than you will ever know. Never, never, never stop praying for me!

I want to thank the Gateway family for allowing me to build a great team of staff who believe in the vision God has given Gateway. I love working with this team!

Now let’s soar high for the Lord. Let us continue the race and not grow weary of the journey. Let’s ask God to give us hundreds of new believers this fall. Let’s believe God for that which seems impossible to us. Let’s put ALL of our trust in the LORD!!! You are going to love the view when we soar high together!

Counting Straws – Part 3

Once again, Jesus said that one of the keys to not worrying is to do something else in its place. He specifically said to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously.”

So how do I live righteously? What does that look like?

Read the following from 1 Peter:

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone. He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls. 1 Peter 2:21-25 (NLT)

Jesus lived for what is right. Jesus was obedient to the Father in spite of the personal cost. By doing so, he made it possible for us to live for what is right. Here are the action points for me in this passage:

• I am commanded to live righteously by doing good, no matter the cost.
• I am to follow the example of Christ.
• I am to NOT retaliate when insulted.
• I am to NOT seek revenge when wronged.
• I am to trust God with every aspect of my life.

Along with the commands, God gives us some great promises in these verses. Because of Jesus and who He is:

• I have been given an example that I can trust.
• I have been relieved of all my sins when Jesus took them upon himself.
• I have been declared dead to sin and alive in Christ.
• I have been given the power and ability to live righteously; to do good.
• I have been healed of every wound.
• I have a Shepherd and a Guardian who cares for my soul.

FINALLY! There is someone to whom I can give my straws…

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

It’s time to give Jesus ALL of your straws!!