Susan Bailey Law

Yesterday I made a sad trip to Charlotte’s Presbyterian Hospital. As I pulled into the parking garage I could feel the weight in my heart growing. Walking down the hallway to the hospice unit, I prayed that God would help to keep my emotions in check and that He would give me the words to share. I was getting ready to say goodbye to one of the sweetest souls I have ever known. Susan Bailey Law was in my youth group at First Baptist in Charlotte. Mary and I loved her and her family. Her parents, Martha and Bill worked in the youth ministry; her brother Brian is one of the smartest guys I have every known; and her sister Dana always made us laugh. Susan was one of those special individuals whom everyone easily loved. She was one of a kind. Susan and her husband Jerel served the Lord together. For the past several years they have served as church planters north of Charlotte. God blessed them with three wonderful children.

I had the honor of praying for Susan and with the family yesterday afternoon. This morning at 5:30, Susan looked directly into the eyes of her Lord and Savior. I envy her.

But what about Jerel who has lost his best friend? What about the three children who will face life without their mother? What about Martha and Bill who will now bury a second child. Their first born died when he was just a year old. What about Brian and Dana? What about a church family who is grieving? What about a host of friends – all of whom were praying for a healing? Holding on to your faith when God does not make sense is a challenge. The death of such a young wife with three young children in such a loving marriage is one of the greatest challenges a husband could ever face. The death of a child is one of the greatest if not the greatest challenge a parent could ever face. The death of one with so much life ahead, is like putting the period in the middle of a sentence, it does not make any sense. It does not belong.

When I conducted the funeral service for my wife’s grandmother, she was 101 years old. We celebrated her life. Her death was a natural next step as she moved into God’s heaven. It made sense.

Through 35 years of ministry, I have walked with many people through experiences and sorrows that were not easily understood. Examples of inexplicable sorrows and difficulties could fill the shelves of the world’s largest library. Almost every person could contribute illustrations of his or her own. In a world were innocent people suffer, we are challenged in our faith.

I have watched individuals deal with cancer, kidney failure, heart disease, cerebral palsy, down’s syndrome, divorce, rape, loneliness, rejection, depression, failure, death, these and thousands of other sources of human suffering produce inevitable questions of the soul. “Why would God permit this to happen?” “If God is so loving, why did He not stop this?” It has been my observation that the Lord does not typically rush in to explain everything to us.

The Lord says in Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

The simple truth is we lack the capacity to grasp God’s infinite mind or the way He intervenes in our lives. It is okay to say, “I don’t know or I don’t understand… this makes no sense.” But we can also say, “I am willing to trust God in spite of my lack of knowledge and understanding. In spite of my pain, I am willing to trust God.”

In spite of the pain, we can celebrate Susan’s life… celebrate a life that was fully lived.

We read in Romans 11:33–36, “Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! For who can know the LORD’s thoughts? Who knows enough to give him advice? And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.”

We see in the Bible that there are times when God brought healing, such as the blind man, the cripple, the lepers; He even raised Lazarus from the dead. We also read in scripture when he does not heal, or rather heals in a different way, such as Paul’s thorn in the flesh. God saved Daniel from the lion’s den, but did not save Paul from the executioner’s ax. God saved Noah and his family from the flood, but did not save Steven from the stones of his enemy’s. God saved David from King Saul’s attempts to kill David, but did not heal David’s new born son.

We read in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” The truth of this passage is that we will not have the total picture until we meet God in his kingdom. We must learn to accept partial understanding now, knowing we will have full understanding in his kingdom. I have always thought that my first word in heaven would probably something like, “Oh.”

So, let us then focus on what we do know and what we can understand. The Bible tells us that each person has an appointed time… to be born, to die.

Psalm 139:16 says, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

Not many people know their time, but Susan did. She fought hard, prayed long and increased her faith. She was prepared for God to answer her prayer in a different way. There were many promises in scripture for her to hold to…

Romans 8:38–39, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

God used Susan among her friends and family. She showed us how to live while facing death. Did she want to live? Absolutely. Did she want to leave her husband and three precious children? No way. Was she ready to face death? Without a doubt!

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” We are not prohibited from trying to understand. We are specifically told not to lean on our ability to make the pieces fit. “Leaning” refers to the panicky demand for answers, throwing faith to the wind if a satisfactory response cannot be produced. It is pressing God to explain himself or else. That is when everything starts to unravel.

I cannot explain why such a deplorable disease such as cancer even exists. I do not have tidy answers that will satisfy. I have no airtight explanations. I reject simplistic theology that suggest, “God must have needed Susan in heaven.” Nonsense! A loving Father does not tear the heart out of a loving husband for selfish purposes. God does not remove a loving mother from her three children because he needs her in heaven. We must acknowledge that we have been given too few facts to explain all the heartache in this imperfect, fallen world. The understanding will have to await the coming of the sovereign Lord who promises to set straight all accounts and end all injustice.

Jesus said, in John 10:10, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

Satan hates us because we are the crowning achievement of God’s creation. Satan hates anything God loves. He is out to destroy us. He hates marriages, because God invented them. He hates families because they are God’s design. But Jesus’ purpose is to give us a full and abundant life. He is not talking about material possession. He is talking about purpose and meaning… a reason to get out of bed in the morning… a reason to live this one life we have to the fullest.

God desires a personal relationship with you. You can have that full and meaningful life through Jesus Christ and only through Jesus Christ. If Susan could speak to us, she would tell us, “It is all true… everything the Bible says about God, Jesus, heaven… it is all true.”

“If anyone calls on the name of the Lord and believes that he was raised from the dead they shall be saved.” Christ’s resurrection is what sealed the deal for me. Just last year I was standing in the Garden Tomb area in Jerusalem… where Jesus was buried. I looked inside the tomb… it was still empty.

God’s proclamation is true; God’s presence is real; God’s purpose is pure. You can live your life to survive. You can live your life for success. Or you can choose to live your life at the highest level - significance. Susan chose to be significant.

To those of us left behind, God can mend our broken hearts… but we have to give him all the pieces.

Medical Update

Mary and I finally arrived home on Tuesday. We have discovered, though no surprise, that God has answered many prayers. You have overwhelmed us with your prayers and words of encouragement. I cannot imagine going through the challenges of life without a church family. God has directed our steps as we have walked this journey of being a cancer patient. There have been moments of questions; moments of uncertainty; even moments of nervousness. But at each of those moments, God’s presence and peace was overwhelming. There was always calmness.

I spent the morning reading through each prayer note and email that I have received the past two weeks. I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

Here are some highlights of my surgery:

• The surgery itself went very well. No complications. Dr. Patel said that my surgery was his most difficult case of that day. (A guy likes to be first in something)
• He was able to completely remove the prostate and save all of my nerve bundles. He was the only surgeon who told me he felt confident that he could accomplish this.
• I had some infection from one of the incisions, but it was quickly cleared with antibiotics.
• The tumor involved 25% of the prostate.
• He removed two lymph nodes for pathology as a precaution because of the size of my tumor. Both were clear of any cancer.
• There are five patterns of prostate cancer. My biopsy showed that I had patterns three and four. The pathology report of my prostate showed that I actually had pattern five as well. Pattern five is the nasty cancer. It is the most aggressive and deadly form of prostate cancer.
• A major God praise is that if I had chosen radiation as my first treatment, radiation cannot kill pattern five cancer when it is in the prostate. Therefore I would have still had cancer growing in my body. When you have radiation as your first form of treatment it is nearly impossible to surgically remove the prostate.
• Clean margins are what you want to have in the pathology. That means all of the cancer is contained within the prostate. There was one area that the pathologist could not say for certain that I had clean margins. Cancer cells were on the edge but he was not sure if any had escaped the gland. This will be my faith journey… trusting that there is no cancer left.
• My surgeon does not want to do any other treatments at this point. I will have PSA testing done every six weeks for awhile, then every three months. When the prostate is removed, the PSA testing is more reliable. This will determine if any cancer was left behind and is growing.
• If that does occur, then I would most likely have radiation treatment. The good news is that pattern five cancer can be destroyed by radiation if it is not within the prostate gland.
  

For right now I have another five weeks to full recovery from the surgery. I can return to work at the end of next week and then return to full activities in five weeks. God has directed every step in our journey. Dr. Patel is literally the best in the world in the robotic prostate surgery. I am thankful that God opened that door.

My focus is now fully on being the pastor of Gateway. Many people of prayer at Gateway have been saying the same thing… “God is doing something at Gateway.” I believe this is true. He is going to do many things that will amaze us. So get ready!!!

Thank you for loving Mary and me with your prayers, notes, words of encouragement.

How are you dealing with your cancer?

I get this question a great deal. It’s a great question because the answer reveals a great deal of how I view God. In fact when you answer this question about any major issue in your life, you are revealing your view of scripture and your heavenly father. To get to my answer of this question, I have to step back and look at the bigger picture.

Now I don’t know when Jesus is coming back, but I do know that as of today, we are one day closer. When it comes to life after death, the Bible is very clear that there is an exclusive alternative. Either you go to heaven or you go to hell. It is one or the other. There are no other alternatives.

Once a person accepts Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, the choice is made. They are bound for heaven.

According to the Bible there is a major event to take place in heaven.

“Praise the Lord! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear. For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.” (Rev. 19:6b-8)

This future event seems to be a “what it is all about” event. It’s called the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. It will be the eternal union of Jesus Christ and his Church, his bride. What that means is you and I, along with all believers, will become the eternal companion of the Lord Jesus Christ. We will have a queenly role serving alongside of Jesus. WOW!!! What an incredible privilege awaiting us.

With that in mind, for me the bottom line is this – God is preparing you and me for eternity. If you want to know the purpose of something, then look to the desired end result. God’s ultimate purpose for us is to be Christ-like. God’s ultimate purpose is for us to become the eternal companion of his son. God’s ultimate purpose for us is to be joint-heirs with his son.

If this is true, then this life is on-the-job training. God is using this life to prepare us for our eternal role.

This is why I am interpreting my current health issues as simply on-the-job training. God is teaching me. God is growing me.

Late last fall, I took a two-week break for the purpose of spiritual reflection. The first week I was alone at the beach. Mary joined me for the second week in the mountains. When I returned from the two weeks, I shared with the staff that God spoke two words to me. Prayer and Faith. God told me to focus on these two things. It was not what I was expecting. I was expecting God to reveal some crucial items concerning Gateway. I thought I would return with a clarified vision. That did not happen. God simply said, increase your prayer and increase your faith.

At the time I thought he was talking about Gateway. In a way he was, but he was speaking more to me personally.

This past spring, I did a forty-day fast. Again, I thought God lead me into the fast in terms of Gateway, but it seemed it was more about my personal walk with him.

When news came about the prostate cancer and then later the skin cancer, it all came together. God was preparing me for this period of my life. He was preparing me for the journey.

Because I interpret everything in my life in terms of eternity, I am confident that God has allowed the cancer in my body to teach me more about Jesus… to shape and mold me more into the image of Jesus. He is preparing me for my eternal role as a bride of Christ.

Are you going through a tough time right now? How would it change your attitude if you interpreted the tough things in your life in light of your eternal destination? We are destined for a throne, a queenly throne. We are destined to be the eternal companion of our precious Lord Jesus Christ.

For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. (Rev. 19:7)

What are you doing to prepare yourself?

Last Thursday was a busy day...

I spent the morning at my physician’s office going through a slew of tests in preparation for my surgery. I got a green light on every item. The results are being sent to Dr. Patel’s office in Orlando.

I left Dr. Fravel’s office to head to the airport for my flight to Texas to go to Corpus Christi to perform a wedding for a dear friend.

On the flight to Texas, I sat next to a Marine Lieutenant General (3 stars). We talked non-stop for the 2 ½ hour flight. It was fascinating. He invited me up to DC as his special guest for a VIP event at the Marines Barracks. I’m going to make it happen!

Now for a whole new twist in my life.

While waiting at the airport, my daughter Katie sent me a text with a passage of scripture. She said, “I thought of you when I came across this verse today.”

Joshua 1:9 in The Message Bible: “Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.”

Katie’s text came at 3:21 PM.

Fifteen minutes later at 3:36 PM, I was on the phone with Dr. Clemenz’s office, my dermatologist. Over the past several weeks I had developed a sore on my nose. I thought it was no big deal until it started bleeding. I knew I needed to see Dr. Clemenz. With Mary’s skin cancer issues from the past, we both faithfully go to Dr. Clemenz every six months to have our skin checked. Usually she can catch cells when they are very pre-mature and simply freeze them off. This one was different. In my spirit, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. She took a biopsy of my nose: you may have noticed the bandage this past Sunday.

Now back to the phone call. At 3:36 PM I was informed that the biopsy had come back positive for cancer. As I understand it, there are three basic types of skin cancer: basal cell carcinoma; squamous cell carcinoma and malignant melanoma. I have the second level – squamous cell carcinoma. It is cancer, but it is treatable.

Katie was totally unaware of the nose biopsy. She was simply being faithful to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to encourage her Dad.

Later this month I will have surgery on my nose to remove the cancer cells. The procedure I will have by Dr. Chow is called Mohs Micrographic Surgery. Basically, Dr. Chow will give me a shot in the nose and remove a layer of skin. I will wait while he exams the skin tissue. If there are cancer cells on the edges of the removed tissue, he will give me another shot in the nose and remove more tissue. He will continue this process until he has “clean margins.” The Mohs surgery is the most exact and precise method of skin cancer removal. It minimizes the chance of re-growth and lessens the potential for scarring or disfigurement… which is very important to me since I have such a pretty nose.

Dr. Chow is trained in surgery, pathology, and reconstruction. The best option would be that the cancer is completely removed in the first step. If multiple steps have to be taken, as happened to Mary about 10 years ago, then I will go to a plastic surgeon. He will remove skin tissue from my neck and graft it onto my nose.

All of this will happen prior to my trip to Orlando for my prostate surgery.

I have to say… for someone who has never had a surgical procedure other than my wisdom teeth being removed and has never been sick with anything more than a bad cold… I am making up for it in 2010.

In my quiet time this week, God gave me these verses:

You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again. (Ps. 71:20-21)

God has given me the privilege of facing these challenges. He has given me the blessing of growing in my faith so that I can please Him even more. He has given the joy of facing two unrelated cancers so that I might be able to teach you more effectively the truth of God’s word and the His glorious promises. I want you to see the truth of God’s word lived out in my life.

As for this moment, there is one thing I know for sure…

“Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so.”

That’s enough for me…

Medical Update

Over the past few weeks Mary and I have talked to multiple surgeons, medical centers, radiation oncologists, prostate cancer patients and friends who are physicians. Mary has read every medical book she has gotten her hands on dealing with this issue. After much research and prayer, Mary and I have determined that God is leading us toward surgery, with prayer, as the plan of attack for the prostate cancer. The two go hand in hand. I believe God can completely heal me without a physician. But I also believe He may choose to heal me through a physician. I will be praying for the Lord to guide the hands of the one who is doing the cutting. Also that God will guide his eyes to not miss anything.

Of the three options of surgery, we have chosen robotic surgery. My urologist recommended Dr. Patel in Orlando, FL, stating that he is the best in the country. In fact, Dr. Petel was voted the top Urologist in America last year. Here is his link:

http://globalroboticsinstitute.com/en/urology-robotic-prostatectomy/why-dr-patel

Because of his reputation it was not surprising that the earliest appointment available was the end of June. But the Lord knew that the end of June would be too long of a wait for me. He never puts more on you than you can handle. On Tuesday of this week, I felt I should call Dr. Patel’s office to ask if there had been a cancellation. The receptionist told me, “I just now had a cancellation. Can you come in the morning?” Mary and I were out the door. It took us seven hours to make it to Orlando.

One side note: I went online to book a hotel. I thought I would try Travelocity’s new section called “Top Secret Hotel.” It is their answer to Priceline. Basically you book a hotel knowing only its rating and general location. I was able to book a 3 star hotel for $35 that was less than 5 minutes from Dr. Patel’s office. On top of that, Travelocity gave me a $30 rebate for using their new site for the first time! OK… this is starting out to be a great trip.

We were at Dr. Patel’s office the next morning at 8:45. I spent an hour filling out paper work. Then we spent the next six hours meeting with five different medical associates. They were thorough. In the waiting room, we met people from all over. We met one couple who were in our church in North Augusta when I was a youth minister… small world.

I discovered that people were coming from all over the world to have Dr. Patel perform their prostate surgery. He told me that he has personally preformed over 4,000 robotic procedures. I like that kind of experience.

During our meeting with Dr. Patel he told me some great news and some challenging news. First: I have most likely had prostate cancer for 5 years, maybe longer. The only symptom was a slight elevation of my PSA blood test in year five. My PSA has been perfect prior to this year. Second: the tumor is large which will make the surgery more difficult. (Now I know why God sent me to the best.) Third: My cancer is aggressive. Fourth: I have a 90% chance that the cancer is all contained within the prostate. That was awesome news. The research data at John Hopkins Medical Center suggested that I had only a 47% chance it was contained.

Because the surgery is going to be difficult he said it is best to wait twelve weeks from the date of the biopsy. This gives my prostate time to completely recover from the biopsy so that he will have clear vision of the nerves which will increase his chances of saving the nerve bundles. I found it humorous that he wants my prostate to get better before he kills it…

My surgery is scheduled for August 16th. I will spend one night in the hospital after the surgery. We will need to stay a total of ten days in Orlando for all of the post-surgery test and check-ups. (Another blessing: Mary’s sister has a time-share condo in Orlando and is in the process of setting it up for us to use.) Once I am home, I will need one more week of recovery. By the end of August I should be back in my normal routine.

I want you to meet my Da Vinci Robot who will be putting 4 small holes in my abdomen to cut out my prostate. I’ve named him Eddie after the movie icon Edward Scissorhands.

Edward Scissorhands is the one with the hair.

Medical Update

Mary and I had a thorough meeting with my urologist today. We met for ninety minutes. Let me give you a basic summary:

• We have confidence in my urologist/surgeon. He is a believer. He has a great reputation. God gave me a great peace about him.
• We are very thankful to my family physician (who is also a believer) in that my symptoms were very minimal. That is, there was very little evidence that something was going on. I believe the Holy Spirit prompted him to be aggressive instead of a “wait and see” attitude.
• The cancer (adenocarcinoma) is more advanced than we originally thought.
• The surgeon believes the cancer is still contained within the prostate.
• The stage of cancer that I have eliminated a few of the treatment options.
• At this point Mary and I are moving towards surgery which will completely remove the prostate.
• The surgical removal can be done by laparoscopic or robotic. (DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! – That’s for those of us who grew up on “Lost in Space”. And if I have to explain it to you, then it’s not funny.)
• The surgery will probably be scheduled for early June.
• Recovery will be 2 to 3 weeks.
• If the pathology report shows clean margins, i.e. the cancer is contained within the prostate then no other procedures will be needed.

Mary and I feel very blessed. We are thankful for our great community of fellow believers who are praying for us. We are thankful for the excellent health care available in our community. We are thankful for the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Who are those who fear the Lord? He will show them the path they should choose. Psalm 25:17

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

The dreaded “C” word…

Last Friday, Mary and I were enjoying a rare day of golf – just the two of us. It was great. Afterwards, we stopped at the Waffle House across the interstate from the Mid Carolina Golf Club. The only time I go there is when I have a deep need for a Texas Cheese-Steak Sandwich (no onions). It’s the only thing I order when I go. The only reason Mary goes is to watch me eat a Texas Cheese-Steak Sandwich. Half-way through my sandwich I got the phone call I had been waiting for. My physician had called the evening before, but we were out. It didn’t take long to put two and two together from his voice mail. He called, not his assistant. He didn’t leave a result, but said we needed to talk on Friday… I knew it meant that I was not going to get the news I was hoping for.

Two weeks prior to all of this I had my annual physical. EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE AN ANNUAL PHYSICAL!!! I was thrilled with my physical. My blood pressure was 100 over 66; I had lost 25 pounds; my blood work came back great with one exception. My PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) was slightly elevated. My family physician wanted me to see an urologist as a precaution. He said the elevation was minor and was probably nothing more than an infection. Within a few days I was seeing the urologist. That led to another exam. My urologist said there was enough evidence to warrant a biopsy on my prostate. It still might be an infection, but he wanted to make sure.

I am not one to sit around and wait, so we scheduled the biopsy as soon as possible. It was last Monday. Twelve samples were taken from my prostate. By the way – I can now sing soprano with the best of them! Barry and I are planning a duet.

Now back to the phone call on Friday. The best result would have been that it was nothing more than an infection. If that had been the case, there would have been a simple message from my physician’s nurse – “Great news, it’s an infection. A prescription has been called in for you.” Instead it was “give me a call first thing on Friday.”

So Mary and I knew immediately what the results were… cancer. Now it was only a matter of how much, how bad, how contained.

The urologist confirmed our suspicion. The good news is we have caught it early. On Tuesday, I will have my follow up with my urologist. He will explain all the details of the biopsy report and the treatment options.

I have kept this process very private. Mary and our children knew. No one else in my family has known until last night. I did keep Ronald Flynn in the loop because of his role at Gateway.

I have just shared everything with the staff and now I am sharing this with my favorite people in the world – you! We are family. I love the Gateway family and appreciate your support and love. You have stood by me in the good times and in the difficult times. You have stood by me when I have been right and when I have been wrong. You have stayed the course with me as we seek to reach our community for Christ. You have been faithful to pray for me and encourage me.

In the scheme of things in the cancer world, this is not a big thing. I have walked with people through very serious cancer – multiple myeloma; colon; bone, kidney, liver, and on and on. I have watched close friends face death with courage, dignity and faith. What I am dealing with is a minor cancer.

Let me make some things very clear – my urologist said that the cancer has been discovered VERY early, is VERY treatable and is NOT life-threatening. My heart goes out to those who have been told just the opposite – “we did not catch it in time; it is advanced; it’s a death sentence.”

Let me share a few thoughts:

• In the scheme of life, this is just a bump in the road… a very small bump!
• I’m fine with you sharing this with others… especially people of faith that will pray.
• I do not want to hear about some doctor in Mexico that I should go see.
• Do not email me something you found on the Internet. I appreciate the thought, but I have intentionally avoided the Internet.
• I’m fine with discussing it with you, but I would rather talk more about winning people to Jesus.
• I will keep you informed as anything significant occurs.
• I will continue my role as Senior Pastor. If anything occurs that requires my absence, you will be informed.
• I’m praying that God will make me a better pastor through this.
• I pray that I will be able to minister to those who deal with cancer at a different level.

Mary and I are completely trusting Jesus. We are fine emotionally. God can do what ever He desires with me. I gave Him the deed to my life when I was a teenager. I belong to Him so it is His business. We want God to be glorified with every aspect of our lives.

Here are some verses that have taken on new meaning to me:

Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good. (1 Peter 4:19)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him. (Job 13:15)

Experiences

I haven’t written a blog lately for a specific reason. I recently finished a forty day fast with two wonderful brothers at Gateway. We embarked on this journey not knowing what God was going to teach us. All we knew was that God was calling each of us to an extended fast.

It all started back in January. I had begun to sense from the Holy Spirit that I was to enter into an extended fast. I tried to put it off… coming up with plenty of excuses. Then I received an email from one of my friends saying he was feeling directed by God to a forty day fast. He asked me if I had some information about an extended fast. He ended his email with “… and why don’t you join me on the fast?” Well that settled it. We agreed to meet for chicken wings (always begin a fast with chicken wings!). He invited a close friend and we all agreed that God was calling us to this endeavor.

Over the next forty days we encouraged each other and prayed for each other. We each had different experiences on the journey. But that’s how God works. He always personalizes our journey with him.

During the fast, I decided to refrain from writing. I didn’t want to be diverted.

Now as I reflect on my time during the fast, let me share just a few thoughts. Keep in mind that these thoughts are incomplete…

• God revealed to me that I had slipped into replacing faith with experience.
• God reminded me that he was not impressed with my experience.
• God desires faith… it’s the only way I can please him! (Heb. 11:6)
• It’s easy to allow your experience, education and knowledge to supersede God’s word.
• It’s easy to spiritualize your experience beyond God’s truth.
• Not all experiences are valid. Just because I experienced something does not mean that it is truth.
• All of my experiences must be measured, gauged and interpreted by Scripture.
• Ultimately I learned that I must be passionate, enthralled, captivated by God’s compelling purpose for my life.
• I’m the only person who can live God’s purpose for my life! (Ps. 139:16)
• I must live to please God, not people. I live to serve people, but I exist to please God! (1 Thess. 2:4)

What has God been teaching you?

Pastor Don

A Fifth Grader Who Wanted to Make a Difference

Eli Goodwin is in the 5th grade. He literally started attending Gateway nine months before he was born. He is just one of those kids you instantly fall in love with.

Eli and three of his friends from Lake Murray Elementary School decided they needed to do something to help the people of Haiti. Their first thought was to set up a lemonade stand. Marty, his Mom, suggested that lemonade might not sell very well in cold weather. So they settled on a bake sale. They asked their parents, friends and anyone who would help to bake items that would be sold to raise money.

This past Saturday, they set up shop on the corner of Wessinger and Dutch Fork Road. Eli’s sister and brother (Callie & Nic) were there to help as well.

As the day progressed, a steady flow of cars would stop and make purchases. There were a few times when no one was stopping so they would start packing everything up. Then another steady flow of cars would begin to stop.

At the end of sale, with all the goodies sold, they counted their money. They were hoping to raise about $100. Imagine their excitement when they realized they had raised $1,020!!! WOW!!!

By the way… a certain company is probably going to match their money. If that happens, that will translate into a small group of 5th grade students who dreamed of sending a $100 to Haiti to actually send over $2,000.

We dream big for God… then God shows up and makes it HUGE.

Hey Eli, this verse is for you and your friends:

“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12, NLT)

Lessons from Noah

Hebrews 11:7 tells us that Noah had a “holy fear” that led him to build the ark. A holy fear of God is a great thing. It is an essential element of a believer’s life. In fact it is impossible to go on a Journey of Faith if it is missing. Here are just a few of the multiple verses that speak of the “fear of the Lord”:

Sin whispers to the wicked, deep within their hearts. They have no fear of God at all. Psalm 36:1

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge… Prov. 1:7

Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. Prov. 2:5

Fear of the Lord lengthens one’s life… Prov. 10:27

Those who fear the Lord are secure… Prov. 14:26

Fear of the Lord is a life-giving fountain…Prov. 14:27

Fear of the Lord teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor. Prov.15:33

Fear of the Lord leads to life, bringing security and protection from harm. Prov. 19:23

This holy fear does not imply that you cower away from God or hide in your closet. Otherwise, why would he say, “… we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus.” in Hebrews 10:19?

Noah treated God’s word with tremendous respect and reverence. He was awestruck. And the ultimate expression of his faith was obedience… obedience at any cost!

Jesus puts it all in perspective when he boldly tells us:

Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28 (NLT)

The Bible also reminds us that Jesus himself had a deep reverence for God the Father:

While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of his deep reverence for God. Heb. 5:7

How did Noah stay the course for 100 to 120 years (that’s how long it took to build the ark!) and finish what he started? How can you finish your Journey of Faith?

1. Remove any and all distractions

Obviously this would include sins, but it also includes good things. What good things are part of your life but in reality are a distraction from the best God has for you?

2. Remember the reward from God

Your ultimate reward is heaven… being with God in his Most Holy Place!

All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 1 Corinthians 9:25-26 (NLT)

3. Resist all discouragement

I’m the first to admit that this one is not easy. Satan will use anything to discourage you. Past sins and mistakes; close friends; critics; circumstances that are not of your making… you name it, Satan will use it.

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 (NLT)

4. Renew yourself daily

This means that you care for your body, your emotions and your spirit. You renew your body through proper rest, exercise and a good diet. You renew your emotions through friendships and healthy hobbies. You renew your spirit through worship, time alone with God (prayer and scripture study), and other followers of Christ. These are just a few methods of renewing yourself.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NLT)

In closing… we are on a Journey of Faith. If you have been derailed from this journey, then resume the journey

Then the Lord said to me, ‘Get up and resume the journey, and lead the people to the land I swore to give to their ancestors, so they may take possession of it.’ “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul. And you must always obey the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good. Deuteronomy 10:11-13 (NLT)

Buying a Car

I hate buying a car. So much time and effort is required. It’s never easy… at least not for me. I tend to over analyze. That is why when I buy a car, I drive it until it dies! I loved my 2003 Ford Explorer. It had over 135,000 miles. My mechanic said it should last for another 100,000. Now that gets me excited.

Last September 22nd, I was driving in North Carolina. I remember thanking God for my car and even said, “I wonder how long it will last?” As most of you know, I got the answer that same day. It would last for about 6 more hours when it met its demise in an accident.

So began the new process of finding a car. I decided I wanted another Explorer. I found one from an individual in Charlotte. Sounded like a great deal. I emailed him and he responded, “I just sold it, but I’ve got another coming this week.” I made arrangements to drive it. It was a 2007 with 39,000 miles and priced under the blue-book value. Sold!

I made arrangements to transfer the car. The seller would drive it to Columbia and meet me at the bank. Then I would drive him to the airport to rent a car for his return home. I offered to drive him back to Charlotte, but it was his choice to rent.

As we were driving to the airport, I turned on the radio. It was tuned to WMHK, our local Christian radio station at CIU. I asked, “You were listening to this station?” He said yes. “I listen to their sister station in Charlotte, WRCM, so I tuned to WMHK when I got closer to Columbia. They helped to save my life.” “Wow, can you tell me about it?” I asked.

Then he began to share his story. He told me that on 9/11, both his brother and brother-in-law were working in the World Trade Center in NYC. Neither survived the attack. I was very quiet for a moment. Finally I asked, “Did anyone get to talk to them?” “Yes,” he said. “They both talked to their wives. They were on floors above the impact of the airplane and they already knew that they would not survive. Between the two of them, they had 7 children.”

My head was spinning. Finally I said “I can not imagine your pain or the pain of your family.”

He went on to share how God spoke to him and brought him to Christ. WRCM ministered to him during that time and continues to do so today.

You never know the pain someone is living with. But I do know that the power of our Lord Jesus Christ can overcome any pain, any experience, and any tragedy in your life.

This experience gave me a deeper appreciation for the words of Jesus: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

Are you Ready for a Great Journey?

God has called us to be a part of His story. If we want to be part of God’s story, then we must begin with a journey of faith.

Jesus said “Because of your faith, it will happen.” (Matt. 9:29).

Faith is like a muscle – it has to be developed. You strengthen it by using it. Did you ever have a broken arm? If so, you most likely had a cast on your arm for a month or more. Remember when you had the cast removed and surprised that your arm was actually smaller? Because of their lack of use, the muscles in your arm lost their size and strength.

Faith is like that… if you don’t use your faith; it loses its power and scope of influence.

God tells us that without faith we cannot please Him. (Heb. 11:6)

So what is faith? It is choosing to believe God. It is having confidence in God. And just as important, it is acting on that belief and confidence. God’s word tells us that faith – (that belief and confidence in God) – without works - (our action) is dead. In other words, without acting on our faith, we will have no impact.

God has placed a dream into the heart of Gateway. It is our dream to connect with the people of our community so that they have the opportunity to experience LIFE in Christ.

Rick Warren taught me the six phases of a journey of faith.

1. God always starts with a DREAM.
2. You have to make a DECISION to do something about the DREAM.
3. God will DELAY the DREAM in order to test and grow your faith. God operates on his timetable, not yours.
4. While your DREAM is DELAYED, you can expect DIFFICULTY. If you don’t have critics, you are not doing anything.
5. God will even allow you to reach a DEAD END while pursuing your DREAM.
   
   Read what Paul said when he reached a dead end:
   We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:8-9
   
   
6. Once Paul stopped relying on himself, God brought DELIVERANCE. God does things in such a way that everyone will know that he did it!
   
   Our Journey of Faith in Ballentine began as a dream. We made a decision as a family to act on that dream in faith. We faced delays. We have encountered difficulties and we encounter difficulties even now. We have a choice of either experiencing a dead end or responding to God and relying on Him for deliverance. As the Gateway family, let us “rely” only on God!

A Journey of Faith

GATEWAY FAMILY: We will have a special prayer time for Haiti during our worship services on Sunday
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A Journey of Faith

Ask yourself: “What would my life look like if the Holy Spirit was completely unleashed in me?” Would it be different from what it currently looks like? Most likely.

And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. (Hebrews 10:19)

When Jesus’ body was torn for our sins, God tore the curtain in the Holy of Holies that separated us from Him. We are no longer separated from God. Through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we have access to the “Most Holy Place”… God Himself. All the power of the universe is in this Most Holy Place. The Ruler, Creator, the Lord Jehovah is in this Most Holy Place. AND He invites us to enter, to join Him! We do not enter because of self-righteousness, nor because we desire it. We enter because of the precious blood of Jesus.

If you want the power of God unleashed in your life, I challenge you to begin with the following steps:

1. First and foremost without any doubt, know that Jesus Christ is your personal Lord and Savior. The saddest words you could possibly hear from Jesus would be “depart from me… I never knew you!” (Matthew 7:21-23)

2. Simplify your life! Why? So that you can become a laser-beam for Jesus. When you are not focused, then your life is blurry.

3. Fully engage yourself into the community of Gateway Church. How? Come to worship; join a LIFE group; volunteer in a ministry; give. Stop sitting on the side-lines.

4. Ask God to make your life count for what matters to Him. This means you pray (and pray constantly) as you take this journey of faith. This means you don’t set the agenda for your life – God does. This means that you hold nothing back from God.

A word of caution, in fact, it is a promise. If you get on God’s schedule and agenda, you can expect attacks and challenges. Satan will not give up his hold on a person’s life without a fight.

God has not called us to create heaven on earth. If the goal of Gateway were to create heaven on earth, it would fail. God calls us to get people into the real heaven, not to build our own.

Gateway is on a Journey of Faith. We want to see the power of Holy God unleashed in our fellowship. This is the time for Gateway to go on the offensive. This is the time for us to place our confidence fully on Jesus. This is the time for us to lift up Christ in this community. People who are far from Jesus matter to God!

My Big Adventure – Learning the difference between Facts, Faith & Feelings

I’m a firm believer that every twelfth-grade guy needs a big adventure before he heads off to college. That’s why each spring I take some of Gateway’s twelfth-grade guys on a big adventure. This year we went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Cedar Point Amusement Park and the Dayton Airshow. The preceding years I have taken them to NYC to visit our church plant and tour the city. It’s always a great adventure!

Now imagine this. You are in the 12th grade, you are 17 years-old, and you get this crazy idea that to a teenager seems perfectly rational. You ask your mom and step-father if you can rent a plane so that you and your three best friends can fly from High Point, NC to Washington DC to “hang out.”

Now imagine that not only did your mom say yes, but the parents of your three best friends said yes. That means eight rational, sober, non-drug users, had a good nights sleep adults, made a conscience decision to let their four sons crawl into a four-seat Cessna 172 airplane and fly to the Nation’s Capital with a 17 year-old pilot who has had his license for only 5 months!

You are probably thinking – “Not in this life time!” Most parents wouldn’t even let their sons drive on such a trip.

Well, that was me back in 1971. I’m on the far left; then Doug, Jimmy and Mike.

The photo was taken early on the morning of December 29th, 1971. After doing the preflight of the plane, fuel check, weather check, filed the flight plan, we crawled into the plane. Before I started the engine, we had a prayer for a safe flight. I always did that. On this particular day, it was a really good thing that I had prayed.

So we were heading to our big adventure in DC. All the check points were exactly where they were supposed to be. It was a beautiful day with unlimited visibility. Little did I know that the big adventure would begin before we reached DC.

One of the guys asked, “So how are we getting from the airport to downtown DC?” “I have no idea, but something will work out.” was my confident response. There was a quiet moment in the plane. “So where are we spending the night?” “Well, I think we can stay with this girl I met last year at a flying event. I wrote her about us coming to Washington.” It got quiet again.

After convincing my friends that they can trust me, it suddenly hit me, I’m not really sure where I am! This was long before GPS. One of the guys asked “How much longer? I need to go to the bathroom.” After a really long pause, I finally said, “I’m not sure. I have to figure out where we are.” It was dead quiet.

This is when the lesson began in learning the difference between faith in facts or faith in feelings. A pilot has to trust his instruments, not his feelings, especially if you get disoriented. Your feelings can tell you one thing, while the plane is doing something completely different. The air had been very rough and I was attempting to find a smoother altitude for the guys. I was soon flying by feelings, not facts. I was focused on the rough air and not my navigational instruments. I was putting my trust in what I thought was the right course instead of keeping a trusting eye on the instrument panel.

For the safety of my three friends, I had to set aside my ego. I began looking for a place to land in order to get my bearings. How embarrassing! I noticed some pasture land that looked like it had a dirt air strip running in the middle. That was good enough for me. I had learned to fly at a very small airport, so landing on a small, short dirt field was second nature to me.

I checked for other airplane traffic and headed in for a landing, no sweat. There were also no buildings, no phones, no nothing. My three friends bailed out one side of the plane and went straight for a line of trees to answer the call of Mother Nature.

As I got out of the plane, I saw a guy in his car at the end of the field. I walked over to him and with all the confidence I could muster I asked, “Do you know which way Washington is?” Without judging, or at least not to my face, he said, “let me get my road map.” We studied the road map on the hood of his car along side of my flight map. “I see where I made a mistake. I know where I am now. Thanks!” With the four of us back in the plane and all of the cows off the runway, we took to the air with new confidence. We were only 20 minutes away from the airport I was looking for. Potomac Airfield (PG Airpark back then) was just southwest of Andrews Air Force Base and directly south of Washington.

I can only imagine the conversation that man had with his wife at dinner that night! I gave him something to talk about for the rest of his life. “Did I tell you about the time these four teenagers flying an airplane landed in a field and asked me how to get to DC?”

Twenty minutes later, we landed at Potomac Airfield. Okay, I found the airport, now I need to find a ride for the four of us. As I walked into the airport lounge, standing right in front of me was Mike Brooks. We both immediately recognized each other. Mike was my age and we had met a year ago at a flying event. He lived in the area and was hanging out at the airport. We talked for a moment. I asked him, “How far is it to downtown?” “About 20 or 30 minutes,” he said. So I made a deal with him. “I will take you up and let you fly my plane if you drive us to DC.” Done deal.

We ran around DC seeing the sights. It was awesome. We laughed and enjoyed every moment. Later that day I called my other friend – which I had met only once. She had already made arrangements for housing and was coming to pick us up near the Washington Monument. She had also made plans to get a group of her friends together, and they had a party for us! Way cool.

After the party we headed to another friend’s house to spend the night. Now get this, the only available bed for us was a king-size water bed. Image 4 teenage guys on a king-size water bed (or maybe you don’t want to imagine that). We laughed all night long.

We woke up early the next morning with bad news on the weather. There would be some strong winds and storms hitting the east coast, so we would have an even rougher ride home. No sweat.

Another recently made friend drove us back to the airport. We jumped into the plane and soon we were heading home.

The winds were tough. One of the guys was watching the interstate below us. He said, “Don, I think the cars are passing us.” “No way,” I said. But he was right. I called the weather station on my radio and discovered that we were flying into 50 knot headwind, but it was smooth air. So if you are flying 120 and heading into a headwind of 50, your ground speed is 70… so cars were passing us!

On the return trip home, I trusted my flight instruments completely. I set aside all my feelings. I made course corrections for crosswinds. After avoiding much of the thunderstorms, we landed safely at Midway Airport in High Point, NC. When the wheels touched the runway, we all began singing Handle’s Hallelujah chorus… awesome trip!

Everyday you have a choice. You can put your faith in the facts of God’s Word or you can put your faith in your feelings. Your feelings can be deceptive because of your ever-changing circumstances. Your feelings can be unreliable. Your feelings can contradict the truth of God’s Word. But your feelings do not negate the truth of God’s Word. Choose to put your FAITH in the FACTS of God’s Word. You will find that your FEELINGS will eventually catch up.

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105

JESUS: “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.” John 14:21

Soaring with the Eagles

I flew my first glider when I was 16 years old. I will never forget the drive to Chester, SC to a glider school located at the airport. It was amazing. After an orientation by the instructor and the pre-flight check of the glider, I crawled into the front seat – the instructor into the back. A tow-line that looked like a ski rope was attached to the tail of the tow-plane was also attached to the nose of the glider. After getting the slack out of the tow-line and checking my controls, I gave a signal to the line-boy who held my wings level. He signaled the pilot of the tow-plane. He began his take-off run. After about 20 yards, the line-boy was able to let go of the wing since the glider had enough lift under the wings to stay level.

Within just a few moments, I was 10 feet off the ground. WOW!!! It was thrilling. I had just gotten my driver’s license and now I’m flying a glider. The instructor taught me how to stay within the “box” behind the tow-plane. After a series of turns, we made our way to 3,500 feet. Then it happened. I pulled the big red knob in the center of my instrument console. The rope disconnected from the glider; the tow plane dove down to the left and I took a steep turn to the right. After having my flight determined by the tow-plane, I was now free to fly as I desired. It was freeing, exhilarating, and very quiet. All I heard was the air rushing over my canopy and wings.

Because there is no engine in a glider, forces of nature have the primary affect on the flight. One force – gravity – pulls you back to earth. The glider began its decent. Within 20 minutes I would be back on the ground. However, I did have an alternative. I could find a thermal. A thermal is like a tall smoke stack of warm air that is rising from the ground. If you find one you can make tight turns within the column of warm air and the heat will cause the glider to rise. When you gain the altitude you desire, you simply fly out of the thermal. If you can continue to find thermals, you could literally keep a glider in the air all day.

The thing about thermals is they can be very bumpy. That is one of the many clues that you have found one. You feel the disruption of air around the glider. But unless you are willing to go through the bumps, you will never get the altitude.

Another clue I look for is a hawk or an eagle. If I spot one in a tight circle, there is a chance he has found a thermal and is seeking to gain altitude. Once when the kids were very young, we were visiting Mary’s brother on Signal Mountain in Tennessee. As we stood at a cliff looking over the city of Chattanooga, I spotted an eagle about a hundred feet below us. He was circling. I told the kids “Watch this eagle. I bet he will circle; never flap his wings; and will soon be higher than we are.” Sure enough, just as if we had planned it, the eagle stayed in a tight circle and quickly rose to hundreds of feet above us – he didn’t flap his wings once! Then he tilted his wings, flew out of the thermal and headed off into another direction. Amazing.

My glider flying and that eagle reminded of this verse:
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)

We have reached our two year mark on our new campus. What I thought would be easy has been hard and what I thought would be hard has been easy. Go figure. We have seen many dear friends make their way to other fellowships. (I was told by countless pastors and consultants that this would happen.) I know many of you have been hurt as your friends have left. I have hurt. Even though I knew it was coming, it still hurt. I was their pastor and I loved them… I still do. Being a relational person made it sting even more.

However, I had to be obedient to the Lord. I answer to Him and Him alone. I have no doubts that we are heading in the right direction. Although I will confess that I have not executed everything correctly, I have no doubts of God’s vision for Gateway. He has planted us into a sea of people who do not know Him.

But when you go through some bumpy air while flying… you don’t ever get out of the plane! You keep flying and let the Lord give you the lift you need under your wings. When you are flying at 35,000 feet in an airliner and you run into some very bumpy air… you stay in your seat, tighten your seat belt and trust the pilot! Well, I have put my trust in the Lord.

In the last two years, over 200 people have joined our team. As you have, they have bought into the vision for this church. We have baptized ninety-five new believers. We have many more waiting for baptism. God is great!

I want to thank the Gateway family for believing in our Lord and the vision He has given Gateway. I want to thank the Gateway family for believing in me as your pastor and your leader. Your prayers, kind words, and notes of encouragement bless me more than you will ever know. Never, never, never stop praying for me!

I want to thank the Gateway family for allowing me to build a great team of staff who believe in the vision God has given Gateway. I love working with this team!

Now let’s soar high for the Lord. Let us continue the race and not grow weary of the journey. Let’s ask God to give us hundreds of new believers this fall. Let’s believe God for that which seems impossible to us. Let’s put ALL of our trust in the LORD!!! You are going to love the view when we soar high together!

What’s the deal with fear? – Part 5

Warning: The following may be hazardous to your sense of self-righteousness.

As we’ve studied fear, we’ve concentrated on fear as a result of a lack of faith. We’ve looked at replacing our fear with faith.

Here is a different take on fear: Sometimes we are not afraid but we should be. The Bible tells us that there is only one appropriate fear – the fear of God. If you did a quick search of the Bible for phrases such as “fear God” or “fear of the Lord” you would be convinced that it is an appropriate fear.

Jesus said it this way:

“Dear friends, don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot do any more to you after that. But I’ll tell you whom to fear. Fear God, who has the power to kill you and then throw you into hell. Yes, he’s the one to fear.” Luke 12:4-5 (NLT)

Now the great news for the believer is God is not throwing us into hell. He is going to welcome us into his kingdom as a joint-heir with his son Jesus. PRAISE GOD!!!!

But that does not eliminate my fear of God. I must have the utmost respect and sense of awe when it comes to God. The point of this passage is that we should fear God because of his awesomeness.

I must take him very serious… very, very serious. So how do I do that? For starters, I need to see things the way he sees things. I should love what he loves and hate what he hates. God loves people and God hates sin.

One day, as a believer, I will give an accounting to God for my actions, my attitude, my words, and even my thoughts. This is the one we think of most often and most of us can understand the concept that we are accountable for what we “do.” But what about this one -- I will give an accounting for my lack of action. I will give an accounting of how I used, misused or never used my spiritual gifts, material possession, and time.

Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ. Anyone who builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames. 1 Corinthians 3:10-15

We have a promise of our salvation… we can not lose it. But we can “suffer great loss.” What does “great loss” look like? It includes lost opportunity; lost time. It includes the times we lived for ourselves: our wants; our greed; our selfishness. It even includes thinking that church and life is all about me.

Ultimately it is a loss of eternal investment. Instead, we invest in the temporary. We invest in the self-serving.

It is very easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature as believers.

What about that phrase “The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames.”? What does that look like?

Remember when smoking was allowed almost everywhere? Even on airplanes? When I was growing up, smoking was not allowed in our home. However, many of my relatives and neighbors smoked. I was around it all the time so I didn’t think about it. Today, however, someone can be 2 blocks away when they light up and you immediately smell it.

When Mack and Mary had the doc sommers band, they played everywhere. Sometimes they played in venues where smoking was allowed. I remember going with them to the New Brookland Tavern. Even though we did not smoke there was plenty in the room. By the end of the concert, our clothes reeked of smoke. I even had a smoky taste on my tongue! I had to step outside many times that night just to get a breath of fresh air. Then we packed into the van to head home… yep… it reeked of smoky clothes. We couldn’t wash them fast enough.

Maybe that is what it will be like for those who “barely escaping through a wall of flames.” They get into heaven because of Jesus, but they smell as if they ran through hell to get there. They aren’t burned, or even singed, but they reek of the smells of hell.

Don’t let that be you.

What’s the deal with fear? – Part 4

Two weeks ago, my neighbor was excited. He just received his World Series ring. Jerry Martin played pro baseball then turned batting coach for the Phillies. This past season, he was a base coach for the Phillies. If you follow baseball, then you know that the Philadelphia Phillies defeated the Tampa Bay Rays for the 2008 World Series. Jerry’s ring is beautifully gaudy, if that is possible. It’s HUGE. Three and one-half carats worth of diamonds. I am very excited for my neighbor.

Being like any normal boy I grew up loving baseball. I knew the players and the teams. I was always excited when the World Series came around. When I was about 12-years-old I saw my first professional baseball game. We traveled to Atlanta to see the Braves play the L.A. Dodgers. I saw Hall of Famer Sandy Koufax pitch for L.A. Amazing! I remember it all.

Okay. I’m going to share with you the most fearful moment of my life…

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 55-years-old. Every year since my 12th birthday, the week following my birthday reminds me of the most fearful moment of my life.

As a kid, I was a very average athlete. I was an average wrestler on my high school team. I was an average center for our city club basketball team (we did finish 2nd in the state.) But what I really loved was baseball. I played 3rd base in little league. I was an average ball handler. But one thing I could do well was hit the ball.

It was my last year in little league. I was 12-years-old and in the 6th grade. We played at Armstrong City Park in High Point, NC. It was a great field. Our outfield fence seemed unreachable. Homeruns were very rare at our field. If you got a homerun, it was usually inside the park. But I was determined to do it. I was determined to slam one out of the park.

My dad was pretty sick by this point. I didn’t know he had cancer, much less that he might die. Back in those days parents felt that they were protecting their child by not burdening them with tough information. (I found out my dad had cancer from a neighborhood kid… I beat him up for saying such a thing.)

All I knew was my dad was too sick to come to my games. I was determined to do one thing for my dad… hit a homerun. I knew that would make him happy. After all, he taught me to catch… to run… to throw… and to hit a baseball.

It was a Thursday night. We were playing well. I was in my usual rotation spot as clean-up batter. I didn’t feel anything special when I got to the plate. I just remember swinging and connecting. There was a brief moment of “could this be it?” I watched the ball head out of the park. WOW! It was an awesome feeling. It was hard to contain my smile while rounding the bases. My older sister, Donna, made fun of my attempt to hide that smile. It was awesome. Sweet victory!

Normally after a winning game, we headed to the ice cream parlor… coach’s treat. And if you hit a homerun, double treat… you got a milk shake! Big deal for a little leaguer!

But on this night, the earned milk shake was the last thing on my mind. All I could think of was getting to the hospital to talk to my dad and tell him about my homerun.

At my insistence, my mom took me to the hospital. It was probably 9:00 at night. We went into his room. It was dark except for a dim light above the bed. Dad was turned onto his side facing the door. He had his covers pulled up to his chest. He seemed peaceful. He appeared smaller for some reason. As I expected, he was sleeping. He was actually in a coma, but I didn’t know what a coma was. All I understood was that he had to sleep a lot.

I walked over to his bed in my dirty uniform. I had long passed the day of having to self-impose dirt onto my uniform. If a player didn’t have enough dirt on his uniform, any respectable little leaguer would rub dirt into his uniform (while no one is looking of course). You didn’t want to have to explain why your uniform was so clean after a game. I admit I had a few moments of respectability during my first year of little league.

With my dirty uniform, hat and glove, I decided not to wait for my Dad to wake up. I leaned down, put my elbows on his bed and got really close to his ear. I quietly said, “Hey Dad, I finally hit that homerun for you.” Now I don’t know if it really happened, but as far as I am concerned, I saw a small smile appear on his face. I will never forget that smile. It was burned into my mind and my heart. It was a great feeling. That smile would become very important to me.

Little did I know that it would be the last words I would ever speak to my Dad.

Two days later, we were at my Dad’s parents. It was late Saturday evening. Everyone was at the hospital except an aunt, my little brother and me. My Dad’s 18-year-old brother, Gary walked in. I immediately saw that his eyes were red. Had he been crying? He wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Then I heard my Dad’s mom crying. That was the first time I ever heard her cry. (She just had her centenarian birthday this past February.)

I was still clueless.

My pastor, Jim Pharr walked in with my Mom. “What is he doing here?” I wondered. “Why is everyone so different?” Someone got a wet wash cloth to put on my grandmother’s forehead. She kept saying “My head hurts… my head hurts so bad.” I thought, “Maybe that’s why everyone is sad. Grandmother is sick.”

Then my 8-year-old brother, Elliott walked straight up to me and said “Dad died.”

What? Did I hear right? He must be wrong. How could two words hurt so much? I looked at my Mom. When I saw her face and our eyes met, I knew it was true. I just fell to the couch and cried. My sister tells me even today that I didn’t stop crying for two days. There was zero comfort to be found.

I remember Pastor Pharr placing his hand on my knee. He tried to say some words, but I wasn’t listening. Don’t get me wrong. I was glad he was there, but I would rather have had my Dad.

This was my most fearful moment… I just turned 12-years-old a week earlier. How was I going to make it through my teenage years without a Dad? Who was going to play catch with me? Who was going teach me all the “man stuff” I needed to know? Who was going to teach me how to drive a car? How to change the oil? Repair the lawn mower? Change a fuse? Who was going to teach me about girls? I was a lost, scared little boy who wanted his Dad. I never knew there could be so much fear.

But God was not going to abandon me. He gave me a wonderful promise. I’m not sure who told me about the passage… maybe it was Pastor Pharr. Whoever told me, it changed my life.

Sing praises to God and to his name! Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds. His name is the Lord— rejoice in his presence! Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy. Psalm 68:4-5 (NLT)

“Father to the fatherless.” I can honestly say that those four words took away my fear. I have remembered those words throughout my life. Every time I have a moment of fear and wish my Dad was near by, instead of asking God “Why me?” I say to God, “Thank you Lord for being my Dad. I have nothing to fear.”

Here is the key question for you. What verse, what promise does God have for you in your fear? Find it… memorize it… believe it! Then watch the fear melt away.

By the way… I went on to win the homerun crown for my league that summer of 1966. Other than a few games, I’ve never played baseball again.

What’s the deal with fear? – Part 3

When it came to fear and faith, Jesus was a laser-beam with his disciples. He never let up. Listen to what he said long after the walking on water event:

Afterward the disciples asked Jesus privately, “Why couldn’t we cast out that demon?” “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:19-20 (NLT)

Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.” Matthew 21:21-22 (NLT)

He was still dealing with faith. Do you have enough faith? Concerning the mustard seed statement, John MacArthur put it this way: “True faith, by Christ’s definition, always involves surrender to the will of God. What He was teaching here is nothing like positive-thinking psychology. He was saying that both the source and the object of all genuine faith—even the weak, mustard-seed variety—is God. And “with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37).”[1]

The disciples were learning that no matter how much they learned or how much they grew, they always had to rely on Jesus when ministering to others. Good lesson for us. How often do we say, “Okay Lord, I can handle it from here…” only to become disillusioned or bewildered and asking ourselves “what went wrong?”

Sometimes the storms of life come because of our poor decisions and disobedience. But the “walk on water” storm came because they did obey Jesus. They did exactly as he said… and the storm came.

As Jesus constantly dealt with the disciples on issues of faith and fear, maybe he was setting the foundation of the church. The church is God’s “Plan A.” In fact, there is no “Plan B.” Maybe God allows storms in your life so that you can be a vital part of His plan.

So what is the storm in your life? A more important question: Why do you think it is there?

For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5b (NLT)

[1]MacArthur, J. (1989). Matthew (83). Chicago: Moody Press.

What’s the deal with fear? – Part 2

Why is it so important for the Lord to teach us about fear and faith?

If there was an issue that reared its head over and over again with the disciples, it was the issue of fear and faith. How often do we read in the Bible of Jesus saying to his disciples: “You have so little faith;” “why do you doubt me?”

Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” Matthew 14:28-31 (NLT)

The thrill didn’t last, however. Jesus saw this one coming.

Up to this point, Peter was doing great. He had the faith to get out of the boat. He had the faith to take some steps. Then “reality” hit. Instead of focusing on Jesus, he focused on the storm – the strong wind and the waves. Once he took his eyes off of Jesus, his “common sense” kicked in. The world’s reality and truth; and our human common sense will get us into trouble every time. We rely on ourselves instead of Jesus. We rely on our “experiences” instead of God’s Word.

But before you judge Peter, you have to admire him for seizing the moment. Let’s face it – even though he was humiliated and screamed like a little girl (no sexism intended), he was the only person other than Jesus in all of history to experience the thrill of walking on water!

Jesus allowed Peter to reach panic mode. He waited until Peter screamed for help. Then Jesus immediately saved him. To make sure the lesson was sinking in, he asked the obvious question. (Important note: Jesus never asked questions because he lacked information.) He asked questions in order to get us to think -- to make sure we are asking ourselves the right question. “Why did you doubt me?” Is Jesus asking you the same question today? When you fear, he may be asking you the same question -- “Why do you doubt me?”

What fear is causing you to doubt?

What's the deal with fear? - Part 1

I want to revisit a verse I shared with you in April.

“Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone. Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, ‘It’s a ghost!’ But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” Matthew 14:22-27 (NLT)

There is a truth in this verse that can be easily missed. Jesus insisted that his disciples get in the boat and cross to the other side of the lake. I have personally been on the lake referenced in this passage. It makes Lake Murray look like a fishing pond. It’s huge! In fact, Mary and I were riding across the Sea of Galilee on the back of a boat when I asked her to marry me… for the third time I might add.

So here is my question. When Jesus sent the disciples to the other side of the lake, did he know what was in store for them? Of course he did. He was setting up a teaching moment. He knew the storm was coming… maybe he sent the storm. He certainly used his authority to stop the storm.

So why was Jesus teaching them about fear? Actually he was teaching them about faith. If you are going to be a person of faith, you have to understand fear.

You know faith is the key don’t you?

“And it is impossible to please God without faith.” Hebrews 11:6a

“God saved you by his grace when you believed (faith).” Ephesians 2:8a

The next time you are overwhelmed with fear, ask Jesus, “Lord, what lesson do you want to teach me?” I bet he will teach you something about faith.