Not the kind of Doctors that can fix you

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. (Heb. 10:24-25)

I am constantly reminded of how important family is. We must not be flippant about our personal family or our church family. We must nurture, encourage, care for, pray for and build up our family at every opportunity. I am a blessed man in my personal family and I am a blessed pastor in my church family.

The Gateway family has gone overboard in praying for and encouraging me. Your sensitivity and tenderness towards Mary and me has been beyond words. I love you deeply. It's hard to believe I have been your pastor eighteen years this month.

I am also blessed by my immediate family. Mary is the love of my life. She has been the biggest blessing the Lord has granted to me. As anyone who has met her knows, Mary is not the typical pastor's wife. She is a very unique individual who I have always appreciated for her fearless spirit. She is not afraid of tackling the largest mountain. I use to be wound very tight - too tight. God used Mary to loosen me up!

God has blessed us with two wonderful kids, Katie and Mack. And then he gave us a second daughter with Meredith.

Today, Monday, August 9th, we are celebrating our daughter, Katie. Mary and I are at Auburn University for her graduation with her Ph.D. Like her mother, Katie is an amazing person. She has such an adventurous spirit. As a 29 year old, she has completed two undergraduate degrees from Clemson in Bio-chemistry and Visual Arts; completed two master's degrees from Auburn one in Fashion and the other in Business Administration; and now she has completed her Doctor of Philosophy. She was a finalist for the Rhodes and Marshall Scholarships. She is currently the Director of Operations and Admissions for the MBA degree program at Auburn while teaching undergrad and graduate classes. I have to give a big thanks to District Five and Dutch Fork High School for doing a great job preparing Katie for college.

But with all of these accomplishments, without a doubt the biggest day of her life was the day she adopted Caleb from Ethiopia. He is now a year old and the joy of our family. He is the happiest kid you will ever meet. People tell us, "Caleb is a blessed kid to be adopted into your family." Our response is always, "We are the ones who are blessed!"

In addition, Katie is the evangelist in the family. She loves engaging college students who are seeking spiritual truth. One time she had a group meeting in her home called the Heathen Bible Study. Only non-believers could attend.

Over the years, there have been many key individuals that God has used to influence Katie's life. One specific individual was her small group leader as a youth at Gateway. Cynthia Johnson lived out Hebrews 10:24-25 with Katie by motivating and encouraging her. She has been a faithful friend of prayer; a person who personally lives out her faith. Katie still uses the lessons and insights Cynthia bestowed upon her during her youth.

Thanks Cynthia for investing in my little girl.

By the way... whose life are you investing in? Have you considered being a LIFE group leader? You never know how God will multiply your investment in others.

How are you dealing with your cancer?

I get this question a great deal. It’s a great question because the answer reveals a great deal of how I view God. In fact when you answer this question about any major issue in your life, you are revealing your view of scripture and your heavenly father. To get to my answer of this question, I have to step back and look at the bigger picture.

Now I don’t know when Jesus is coming back, but I do know that as of today, we are one day closer. When it comes to life after death, the Bible is very clear that there is an exclusive alternative. Either you go to heaven or you go to hell. It is one or the other. There are no other alternatives.

Once a person accepts Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, the choice is made. They are bound for heaven.

According to the Bible there is a major event to take place in heaven.

“Praise the Lord! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear. For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.” (Rev. 19:6b-8)

This future event seems to be a “what it is all about” event. It’s called the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. It will be the eternal union of Jesus Christ and his Church, his bride. What that means is you and I, along with all believers, will become the eternal companion of the Lord Jesus Christ. We will have a queenly role serving alongside of Jesus. WOW!!! What an incredible privilege awaiting us.

With that in mind, for me the bottom line is this – God is preparing you and me for eternity. If you want to know the purpose of something, then look to the desired end result. God’s ultimate purpose for us is to be Christ-like. God’s ultimate purpose is for us to become the eternal companion of his son. God’s ultimate purpose for us is to be joint-heirs with his son.

If this is true, then this life is on-the-job training. God is using this life to prepare us for our eternal role.

This is why I am interpreting my current health issues as simply on-the-job training. God is teaching me. God is growing me.

Late last fall, I took a two-week break for the purpose of spiritual reflection. The first week I was alone at the beach. Mary joined me for the second week in the mountains. When I returned from the two weeks, I shared with the staff that God spoke two words to me. Prayer and Faith. God told me to focus on these two things. It was not what I was expecting. I was expecting God to reveal some crucial items concerning Gateway. I thought I would return with a clarified vision. That did not happen. God simply said, increase your prayer and increase your faith.

At the time I thought he was talking about Gateway. In a way he was, but he was speaking more to me personally.

This past spring, I did a forty-day fast. Again, I thought God lead me into the fast in terms of Gateway, but it seemed it was more about my personal walk with him.

When news came about the prostate cancer and then later the skin cancer, it all came together. God was preparing me for this period of my life. He was preparing me for the journey.

Because I interpret everything in my life in terms of eternity, I am confident that God has allowed the cancer in my body to teach me more about Jesus… to shape and mold me more into the image of Jesus. He is preparing me for my eternal role as a bride of Christ.

Are you going through a tough time right now? How would it change your attitude if you interpreted the tough things in your life in light of your eternal destination? We are destined for a throne, a queenly throne. We are destined to be the eternal companion of our precious Lord Jesus Christ.

For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. (Rev. 19:7)

What are you doing to prepare yourself?

Last Thursday was a busy day...

I spent the morning at my physician’s office going through a slew of tests in preparation for my surgery. I got a green light on every item. The results are being sent to Dr. Patel’s office in Orlando.

I left Dr. Fravel’s office to head to the airport for my flight to Texas to go to Corpus Christi to perform a wedding for a dear friend.

On the flight to Texas, I sat next to a Marine Lieutenant General (3 stars). We talked non-stop for the 2 ½ hour flight. It was fascinating. He invited me up to DC as his special guest for a VIP event at the Marines Barracks. I’m going to make it happen!

Now for a whole new twist in my life.

While waiting at the airport, my daughter Katie sent me a text with a passage of scripture. She said, “I thought of you when I came across this verse today.”

Joshua 1:9 in The Message Bible: “Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.”

Katie’s text came at 3:21 PM.

Fifteen minutes later at 3:36 PM, I was on the phone with Dr. Clemenz’s office, my dermatologist. Over the past several weeks I had developed a sore on my nose. I thought it was no big deal until it started bleeding. I knew I needed to see Dr. Clemenz. With Mary’s skin cancer issues from the past, we both faithfully go to Dr. Clemenz every six months to have our skin checked. Usually she can catch cells when they are very pre-mature and simply freeze them off. This one was different. In my spirit, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. She took a biopsy of my nose: you may have noticed the bandage this past Sunday.

Now back to the phone call. At 3:36 PM I was informed that the biopsy had come back positive for cancer. As I understand it, there are three basic types of skin cancer: basal cell carcinoma; squamous cell carcinoma and malignant melanoma. I have the second level – squamous cell carcinoma. It is cancer, but it is treatable.

Katie was totally unaware of the nose biopsy. She was simply being faithful to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to encourage her Dad.

Later this month I will have surgery on my nose to remove the cancer cells. The procedure I will have by Dr. Chow is called Mohs Micrographic Surgery. Basically, Dr. Chow will give me a shot in the nose and remove a layer of skin. I will wait while he exams the skin tissue. If there are cancer cells on the edges of the removed tissue, he will give me another shot in the nose and remove more tissue. He will continue this process until he has “clean margins.” The Mohs surgery is the most exact and precise method of skin cancer removal. It minimizes the chance of re-growth and lessens the potential for scarring or disfigurement… which is very important to me since I have such a pretty nose.

Dr. Chow is trained in surgery, pathology, and reconstruction. The best option would be that the cancer is completely removed in the first step. If multiple steps have to be taken, as happened to Mary about 10 years ago, then I will go to a plastic surgeon. He will remove skin tissue from my neck and graft it onto my nose.

All of this will happen prior to my trip to Orlando for my prostate surgery.

I have to say… for someone who has never had a surgical procedure other than my wisdom teeth being removed and has never been sick with anything more than a bad cold… I am making up for it in 2010.

In my quiet time this week, God gave me these verses:

You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again. (Ps. 71:20-21)

God has given me the privilege of facing these challenges. He has given me the blessing of growing in my faith so that I can please Him even more. He has given the joy of facing two unrelated cancers so that I might be able to teach you more effectively the truth of God’s word and the His glorious promises. I want you to see the truth of God’s word lived out in my life.

As for this moment, there is one thing I know for sure…

“Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so.”

That’s enough for me…

The dreaded “C” word…

Last Friday, Mary and I were enjoying a rare day of golf – just the two of us. It was great. Afterwards, we stopped at the Waffle House across the interstate from the Mid Carolina Golf Club. The only time I go there is when I have a deep need for a Texas Cheese-Steak Sandwich (no onions). It’s the only thing I order when I go. The only reason Mary goes is to watch me eat a Texas Cheese-Steak Sandwich. Half-way through my sandwich I got the phone call I had been waiting for. My physician had called the evening before, but we were out. It didn’t take long to put two and two together from his voice mail. He called, not his assistant. He didn’t leave a result, but said we needed to talk on Friday… I knew it meant that I was not going to get the news I was hoping for.

Two weeks prior to all of this I had my annual physical. EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE AN ANNUAL PHYSICAL!!! I was thrilled with my physical. My blood pressure was 100 over 66; I had lost 25 pounds; my blood work came back great with one exception. My PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) was slightly elevated. My family physician wanted me to see an urologist as a precaution. He said the elevation was minor and was probably nothing more than an infection. Within a few days I was seeing the urologist. That led to another exam. My urologist said there was enough evidence to warrant a biopsy on my prostate. It still might be an infection, but he wanted to make sure.

I am not one to sit around and wait, so we scheduled the biopsy as soon as possible. It was last Monday. Twelve samples were taken from my prostate. By the way – I can now sing soprano with the best of them! Barry and I are planning a duet.

Now back to the phone call on Friday. The best result would have been that it was nothing more than an infection. If that had been the case, there would have been a simple message from my physician’s nurse – “Great news, it’s an infection. A prescription has been called in for you.” Instead it was “give me a call first thing on Friday.”

So Mary and I knew immediately what the results were… cancer. Now it was only a matter of how much, how bad, how contained.

The urologist confirmed our suspicion. The good news is we have caught it early. On Tuesday, I will have my follow up with my urologist. He will explain all the details of the biopsy report and the treatment options.

I have kept this process very private. Mary and our children knew. No one else in my family has known until last night. I did keep Ronald Flynn in the loop because of his role at Gateway.

I have just shared everything with the staff and now I am sharing this with my favorite people in the world – you! We are family. I love the Gateway family and appreciate your support and love. You have stood by me in the good times and in the difficult times. You have stood by me when I have been right and when I have been wrong. You have stayed the course with me as we seek to reach our community for Christ. You have been faithful to pray for me and encourage me.

In the scheme of things in the cancer world, this is not a big thing. I have walked with people through very serious cancer – multiple myeloma; colon; bone, kidney, liver, and on and on. I have watched close friends face death with courage, dignity and faith. What I am dealing with is a minor cancer.

Let me make some things very clear – my urologist said that the cancer has been discovered VERY early, is VERY treatable and is NOT life-threatening. My heart goes out to those who have been told just the opposite – “we did not catch it in time; it is advanced; it’s a death sentence.”

Let me share a few thoughts:

• In the scheme of life, this is just a bump in the road… a very small bump!
• I’m fine with you sharing this with others… especially people of faith that will pray.
• I do not want to hear about some doctor in Mexico that I should go see.
• Do not email me something you found on the Internet. I appreciate the thought, but I have intentionally avoided the Internet.
• I’m fine with discussing it with you, but I would rather talk more about winning people to Jesus.
• I will keep you informed as anything significant occurs.
• I will continue my role as Senior Pastor. If anything occurs that requires my absence, you will be informed.
• I’m praying that God will make me a better pastor through this.
• I pray that I will be able to minister to those who deal with cancer at a different level.

Mary and I are completely trusting Jesus. We are fine emotionally. God can do what ever He desires with me. I gave Him the deed to my life when I was a teenager. I belong to Him so it is His business. We want God to be glorified with every aspect of our lives.

Here are some verses that have taken on new meaning to me:

Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good. (1 Peter 4:19)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him. (Job 13:15)

Experiences

I haven’t written a blog lately for a specific reason. I recently finished a forty day fast with two wonderful brothers at Gateway. We embarked on this journey not knowing what God was going to teach us. All we knew was that God was calling each of us to an extended fast.

It all started back in January. I had begun to sense from the Holy Spirit that I was to enter into an extended fast. I tried to put it off… coming up with plenty of excuses. Then I received an email from one of my friends saying he was feeling directed by God to a forty day fast. He asked me if I had some information about an extended fast. He ended his email with “… and why don’t you join me on the fast?” Well that settled it. We agreed to meet for chicken wings (always begin a fast with chicken wings!). He invited a close friend and we all agreed that God was calling us to this endeavor.

Over the next forty days we encouraged each other and prayed for each other. We each had different experiences on the journey. But that’s how God works. He always personalizes our journey with him.

During the fast, I decided to refrain from writing. I didn’t want to be diverted.

Now as I reflect on my time during the fast, let me share just a few thoughts. Keep in mind that these thoughts are incomplete…

• God revealed to me that I had slipped into replacing faith with experience.
• God reminded me that he was not impressed with my experience.
• God desires faith… it’s the only way I can please him! (Heb. 11:6)
• It’s easy to allow your experience, education and knowledge to supersede God’s word.
• It’s easy to spiritualize your experience beyond God’s truth.
• Not all experiences are valid. Just because I experienced something does not mean that it is truth.
• All of my experiences must be measured, gauged and interpreted by Scripture.
• Ultimately I learned that I must be passionate, enthralled, captivated by God’s compelling purpose for my life.
• I’m the only person who can live God’s purpose for my life! (Ps. 139:16)
• I must live to please God, not people. I live to serve people, but I exist to please God! (1 Thess. 2:4)

What has God been teaching you?

Pastor Don

Are you Ready for a Great Journey?

God has called us to be a part of His story. If we want to be part of God’s story, then we must begin with a journey of faith.

Jesus said “Because of your faith, it will happen.” (Matt. 9:29).

Faith is like a muscle – it has to be developed. You strengthen it by using it. Did you ever have a broken arm? If so, you most likely had a cast on your arm for a month or more. Remember when you had the cast removed and surprised that your arm was actually smaller? Because of their lack of use, the muscles in your arm lost their size and strength.

Faith is like that… if you don’t use your faith; it loses its power and scope of influence.

God tells us that without faith we cannot please Him. (Heb. 11:6)

So what is faith? It is choosing to believe God. It is having confidence in God. And just as important, it is acting on that belief and confidence. God’s word tells us that faith – (that belief and confidence in God) – without works - (our action) is dead. In other words, without acting on our faith, we will have no impact.

God has placed a dream into the heart of Gateway. It is our dream to connect with the people of our community so that they have the opportunity to experience LIFE in Christ.

Rick Warren taught me the six phases of a journey of faith.

1. God always starts with a DREAM.
2. You have to make a DECISION to do something about the DREAM.
3. God will DELAY the DREAM in order to test and grow your faith. God operates on his timetable, not yours.
4. While your DREAM is DELAYED, you can expect DIFFICULTY. If you don’t have critics, you are not doing anything.
5. God will even allow you to reach a DEAD END while pursuing your DREAM.
   
   Read what Paul said when he reached a dead end:
   We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:8-9
   
   
6. Once Paul stopped relying on himself, God brought DELIVERANCE. God does things in such a way that everyone will know that he did it!
   
   Our Journey of Faith in Ballentine began as a dream. We made a decision as a family to act on that dream in faith. We faced delays. We have encountered difficulties and we encounter difficulties even now. We have a choice of either experiencing a dead end or responding to God and relying on Him for deliverance. As the Gateway family, let us “rely” only on God!

Life’s Lessons Can Be Hard

My first experience with the death of someone my age was when I was 10 years old. We were members of First Baptist Church in High Point, NC. If the doors were open, we were there. Church was fun, but not for the reasons you are thinking. You see, my friends and I knew every hiding spot in the church, and FBC had some big buildings. It was an awesome place to play hide and seek and we were the masters!

There was a couple in the church named Smithenson, who served as foster parents. Although I did not have an appreciation for them at the time, I have since learned to have a deep appreciation for anyone who reaches out to children in need. The Smithensons exemplified the heart of God by loving unwanted or neglected children. The Smithensons always had a house full of kids and they were always at church. Usually, they would fit right in.

Well, it was a Wednesday night. We did our usual stuff… ate dinner, had Royal Ambassadors, then came the real reason for church – playing hide and seek.
The Smithensons had a new kid. He was my age. We had fun as usual. We ran and we played. But this night the new kid and I decided to have a wrestling match. After all, didn’t we have to decide who was the best? Wrestling was usually the “choice of weapons.” (Yes ladies, that male thing begins early in life!)

Well, I won… but in retrospect I wish I hadn’t. It really embarrassed the new kid and I was kind of mean about the whole thing. I gloated. In fact, it sort of turned into a little fight. I figured that the new kid and I would probably not become very close friends.

It was a few weeks later and we were having a RA camping trip to Camp Caraway. It was south of High Point about 30 or 40 minutes. It was a cool place… a medium size mountain, lots of hiking trails and a nice lake. We would stay in tents. Camp Caraway has since been well developed into a conference center, hotel rooms, cabins… the works.

I don’t remember why, but I decided not to go on the camping trip. (I probably was sick. In fact that may have been the time I had mono.) I still have mixed emotions about that decision.

One of the leaders of the camping trip was a guy named Cecil. Cecil was “The Man.” He was a Green Beret. In fact he was the karate instructor for Green Berets at Fort Bragg. Needless to say, he had our complete attention and we NEVER talked back. He drove a motorcycle and wore really cool boots.

Now on the camping trip, Cecil took the new kid in a canoe for a little ride. The rest of the guys were swimming off the dock. The kid stood up in the canoe. Cecil told him to sit down, but he didn’t. He was having too much fun. That moment of disobedience cost him his life.

Without warning the canoe flipped. It sent both of them into the water. The canoe apparently hit the kid in the head and knocked him out and he sunk to the bottom of the lake… remember, this was back in the day when we didn’t even think about life jackets.

Unfortunately, Cecil had on his boots. As he searched for the kid, his boots filled with water and began to take him under. He struggled ashore to get his boots off and immediately went back in to find the kid. All the other men were searching as well. He could not be found.

The rescue team arrived and dragged the lake. His body was found after about an hour.

I remember a picture in the paper… Cecil sitting on the side of the lake, his head in his hands leaning on top of his knees. With all of his Green Beret skills and training… he couldn’t save a 10 year old boy.

When I was told of the accident, all I could think of was the wrestling match and how I embarrassed the new kid.

At the funeral, I remember looking at him in the casket… it was the fist time I saw a dead person. It didn’t seem real. He didn’t look right. I remember the Smithensons being broken-hearted. I remember wanting to be any place but there.

After the funeral, we were driving home in the car. I sat in the back. Dad wanted to stop by his parent’s house, but Mom and I stayed in the car. I could not take it any more. I began to cry. I had never cried for someone who had died before that moment. I cried hard. Mom asked me if I was upset about the drowning. I said yes. But I didn’t dare tell her about my shame.

I didn’t understand. Why did this happen? Why wasn’t I nicer to him? Why didn’t he sit down? Why was Cecil wearing his boots? Why would God allow this to happen to a kid who already had a tough life in that his parents didn’t want him? Why him and not me? Why wasn’t I there? Could I have made a difference?

That event changed my life… it changed how I looked at people. It changed how I treated people. It changed how I cared about the unfortunate. Since the drowning, every time I see someone being picked on, I quickly step in to defend. I have loved kids every since.

I have remembered all these details of the death of a 10 year old. But there is one detail I can not remember… his name. Why have I not been able to remember the most important piece of information… his name? Maybe it hurt too much to know that I missed being nice to someone who didn’t know he had only a few weeks to live. I may never understand. I haven’t thought about it in a long time.

But what I do know is that I have a brother in Christ waiting for me in heaven… I will know his name then… we might even have a friendly wrestling match… I’m sure he will win.

God uses life events, both good and bad, to shape us and mold us. He is Lord and He is sovereign. I really can trust Him even when nothing makes sense.

What’s your story?